Thursday, November 23, 2006
Hi everyone. Was bored, so i decided to add a post. Here it goes:
Ways to prevent death:
-Don't breathe air. Seriously. Everyone born before 1870 breathed the substance at some point in their life and every one of them is dead today. This is not a coincidence.
-Don't go outside. Just stay indoors your entire life and make no contact with the outside world. -Also, try to pick a spot that won't likely have a car crash into it or will catch fire.
-Pray. (Rarely effective, but passes time before dying.)
-Become best mates with the Grim Reaper!
-Build a customised bubble and live in a sterile environment for the rest of your life. This is called the 'Bubble Theorem' — clinically proven to prolong life. There is a drawback, however. Users may suffer from mental problems after an average of 40 years in the bubble due to limited interaction with the outside world. This should in no way directly affect longevity. The concept behind this: quantity over quality.
-Become a non-corporeal entity and ascend to a higher level of existence. Prayer might actually help with this. Also, pleading with aliens from Star Wars.
-You could always try to look for Palpatine.
-Cryogenically freeze yourself. If cryogenics are not cheap enough yet, try your freezer.
Find an exact replica of your head, or in lieu of this, your personal logo or a green mushroom. This will only reverse death once. Such items are also usually found in places that can only be reached by wall-jumps, secret ladders/vines, consecutive jumps, summoning the ghost of Thomas Jefferson, wall-jumps, and other needlessly annoying and repetetive jumping maneuvers. If you see one out in the open, it's a trap and you're probably going to die soon.
-Positive thinking.
-Masturbation.
Nothing much though. That's all for today folks. And please remember to vote for the place u wan for the class gathering. Thank you.
